![]() To join a sorority, you must undergo a recruitment process and impress members that hold leadership positions (aka "the sisters"). ![]() Everyone loves to hate sorority girls because there are so many stereotypes that surround them (and yes, some of them are true). #SONORITY BOYS MOVIE#"Sorority Boys" will be the worst movie playing in any multiplex in America this weekend, and, yes, I realize " Crossroads" is still out there.Sororities are either a positive experience, where college freshmen can make friends, or a living nightmare for those who don't seem to fit in. It's so obviously what it is that you would require a positive desire to throw away money in order to lose two hours of your life. Obviously moviegoers with a low opinion of their own taste. I'm curious about who would go to see this movie. "Hey, Jethro! He don't know she's a guy! Haw! Haw! Haw!") The entire movie, times ten, lacks the humor of a single line in the Bob Gibson song "Mendocino" ("She was a he, but what the hell, honey/Since you've already got my money."). (I imagine yokels in the audience responding with the Gradually Gathering Guffaw as they catch on. Just as Latina actresses have risen up in arms against Jennifer Connelly for taking the role of John Forbes Nash's Salvadoran wife in " A Beautiful Mind," so ugly girls should picket Heather Matarazzo.īecause the intelligence level of the characters must be low, very low, very very low, for the masquerade to work, the movie contains no wit, only labored gags involving falsies, lipstick, unruly erections and straight guys who don't realize they're trying to pick up a man. Among the DOGs is the invaluable Heather Matarazzo, who now has a lock on the geeky plain girl roles, even though she is in actual fact sweet and pretty. Harland Williams and Michael Rosenbaum play the other two fugitive KOKs-roles that, should they become stars, will be invaluable as a source of clips at roasts in their honor. Dave ( Barry Watson) becomes Daisy and is soon feeling chemistry with the DOG president, Leah ( Melissa Sagemiller), who is supposed to be an intellectual feminist but can shower nude with him and not catch on he's a man. Homeless and forlorn, they decide to pledge the Delta Omicron Gamma house after learning that the DOGs need new members. ![]() If it's this easy to get a screenplay filmed in Hollywood, why did they bother with that Project Greenlight contest? Why not ship all the entries directly to Larry Brezner, Michael Fottrell and Walter Hamada, the producers of "Sorority Boys," who must wear Santa suits to work? The plot begins with three members of Kappa Omicron Kappa fraternity, who are thrown out of the KOK house for allegedly stealing party funds. I should be a good sport and go along with the joke. How else to explain fraternity brothers who don't recognize their own friends in drag? Sorority sisters who think these are real women and want to pledge them on first sight? A father who doesn't realize that's his own son he's trying to pick up? I know. ![]() They look as feminine as the sailors wearing coconut brassieres in "South Pacific." Their absolute inability to pass as women leads to another curiosity about the movie, which is that all of the other characters are obviously mentally impaired. One keeps his retro forward-thrusting sideburns and just combs a couple of locks of his wig forward to "cover" them. They look like college boys wearing cheap wigs and dresses they bought at Goodwill. What is unusual about "Sorority Boys" is how it caves in to the homophobia of the audience by not even trying to make its cross-dressing heroes look like halfway, even one-tenth-of-the-way, plausible girls. ![]()
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